she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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