We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
