i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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