Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
