yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
