Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
