I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
