youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
