that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
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