do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
