Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i will never coherently bang her
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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