her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
