tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
