Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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