In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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