so that wasnt chicken after all
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
