youre lurking in front of me
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
