i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
