Me too!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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