Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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