if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
