i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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