Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
