It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I came so hard my ears popped.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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