with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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