dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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