I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
