i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
