forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She needs sedatives and a leash
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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