Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me

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(305): View more from Florida

She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

we should wear snuggies to the strip club

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(419): View more from Ohio

I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes

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(204): View more from Manitoba

well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.

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(302): View more from Delaware

seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.

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(212): View more from New York

I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.

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(815): View more from Illinois

i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.

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