You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
