"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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