Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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