Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
