That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
