this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I could fuck to npr.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
