i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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