I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We just shotgunned beers for America
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
