Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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