I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
