Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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