another moral hangover. fuck.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You've changed since you got that strap on
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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