Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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