some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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