please come you make the beer taste better
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
