it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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