Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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