where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
