so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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