i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
